22 Aug a process of recovery from a psychosocial illness in 2024 (August)
Sooooooo,,,I believe I am still in recovery. . . My psychosocial illness does take a bit of a toll, , , and as I understand it. . . it feels like this big GLACIER of a movement in my life. . . About six weeks of the acute illness, then (if I am lucky) something will ‘kick me out of it’, and then, , , I have the post psychotic depression, FOLLOWED by a period where I am just pretty ‘meh’, until I start to COME GOOD!!!
And today, , , or this week, , , maybe since the full moon (approx), I have started to feel like my world is brightening again and becoming MORE HEALTHY. . .
Pain in the bum!
Apart from all the messes that I make in (some places) on the internet. . . my illness does a number on several other AREAS of my physical and mental health.
( I should probably be discussing this on my psychology site, but it feels like a HEALTH post, rather than a post about MY OPS, , , or my state of mind), , , so perhaps this will be a ‘good engouh’ place for it!
- Exercise – when I come into a psychosis I tend to WAKE UP a lot earlier… It is often in the 5’s but sometimes in the 3’s. For this reason I have MORE time in the morning and because I have more energy as well and am (usually) more MOTIVATED, I tend to exercise more. . .
It doesn’t always happen that way! But, there are more possibilities for FITNESS when I am unwell, and I do it more than I normally would in my late sleeping and full schedule. . . (+ it just doesn’t OCCUR to me ((usually))) to exercise. . .
2. Diet – I start eating very unusual things when I am psychotic. I eat at home less. I don’t FEEL like cooking as much, , , and probably again because I am being more ADVENTUROUS and more curious about the world (as well as just totally topsy turvy), I tend to EAT out more, , , and I tend to eat things that I would not normally eat – unhealthier things. . . Perhaps because my sense of discerning criticism is not so evident. I just don’t stick to my routines of healthy eating.
3. WORK – I can’t read for the life of me when I am psychotic, ,, or at least not for any length of time, , , and while I can converse and listen and ENGAGE in such an energetic and CONNECTED way when I am psychotic (and I find my neural pathways are easier, , , I make connections in my mind easier between concepts), , , I do come back to some semblance of this when I am well. It is just the part after the psychosis when I notice that I struggle a LOT with my psychosocial support work, with connecting to people I had GREAT conversations with when psychotic, , , and, , , (I still can’t read all that well, , but things like cooking werk, , , I like when I am tranquilised, and feel a little MEDIAL, , , hmm MEDNDIALSf, , , a bit boring when I am psyshotiduic.,s
To this end, , , I am feeling like my psychotic episodes need a bit of planning, , , (if possible)), , , or at least to know WHERE AND WHEN AND WHAT to give me space with when I go into one or come out of one.
Thanks for your support!
I feel like I have a LOT of support, , , I feel so grateful for the people in my life who stick by me, , , even though things get wobbly, weird and pretty WIcked, , , hoho. . .
And now, , , I want to remember how nice it is to come out the other side.
- I have started buying ingredients for food.
- I am noticing biological cues that tell me I need to MOVE (this is NEW actually, so it may have been a psychological BLOCK to this previously – not sure)
- I am feeling like I am an effective support worker and I am ENJOYING my work too. . . My nutritionist hat comes out (still) and I am also finding I can put my counselling hat on too!
I am just VERY, VERY hungry, , , but that may be the collagen peptides I had in my morning dandelion tea this morning!!
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